Everyone experiences traumatic and stressful events in their lives. Those experiences really stick with us and make it hard to enjoy life or get ahead. But every adult can heal, and every adult can help a child heal. With love and support, we can bounce back, grow forward, and thrive.Many types of experiences can be traumatic to a child or family. These could include abuse or neglect, sexual assault, mental health issues, divorce, family violence, or having a family member incarcerated. 

​Learning how to cope with these stressful events in a healthy way is key for every child’s success. Getting through these experiences can be really tough. Recognizing the need to heal is a brave and necessary first step. To move beyond just surviving, we must identify our needs and our strengths. We all have strengths we can share. Tap into them. And we must take care of ourselves so that we can help take care of our family.

How can I help myself and my family heal? 

• Talk to a doctor or therapist or ask for help from other professionals.
• Remember that parenting is hard. No one does it perfectly. We all fall short sometimes. Be kind and patient with yourself. It can be easy to blame ourselves during stressful times. We are not alone in the process of healing. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling (without judgment!). Use a healthy calming skill like deep breathing, exercise, or enjoying a hobby.
• Help our children build relationships with caring adults, including teachers, coaches, and other family members.
• Kids need to hear praise and kind words. Help build our children’s self-esteem by pointing out their strengths. Allow them to make mistakes so they can learn from them and become more confident. Help them set goals for themselves. 

​Bouncing back from traumatic experiences is a process and takes time, patience, and safety. Becoming resilient means we are learning how to cope with these experiences. Every person heals from trauma differently. Our family members may all go through a different healing process.

How can I help myself and my family thrive?

• Surround ourselves with people who support us. Help our children maintain healthy relationships with professionals, family members, people from church, or other caring adults. It is important to have people we can trust and who will listen without judging us.
• Acknowledge our success and acknowledge our kids’ success. We have all come so far in our journey! Point out our children’s talents. Tell them we’re proud of them. (And be proud of ourselves!) Set goals for ourselves, and help our children set goals.
• Continue being a source of safety and kindness for our family. Communicate in a loving way, and help our children express their feelings. That may mean learning how to express our own feelings in a positive way.

​Thriving means we are growing and blossoming. It doesn’t mean that every day is easy because we may still be in the process of healing. But we will be more resilient and able to cope with challenges.

Adapted from material by The Face It® Movement, an initiative led by Kosair Charities in the state of Kentucky. For more information visit their ​website at https://faceitabuse.org/

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